Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him!

Just when you've thought you've heard it all, along comes the lady who accidentally (maybe) killed her husband by inducing alcohol poisoning via a sherry enema:

Prosecutors have dropped charges that a Lake Jackson woman caused her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, leading to alcohol poisoning.

Tammy Jean Warner, 45, now of Texas City, had been scheduled to go on trial next Monday on a charge of negligent homicide. It was the sixth trial date set for the case.

Court records state that the case was dismissed Aug. 31 due to insufficient evidence.

Warner's husband, Michael Warner, a 58-year-old machine shop operator, died at their Lake Jackson home on May 21, 2004. An autopsy report said he had been administered an enema with enough sherry to get a blood alcohol level of 0.47 percent. That is almost six times the level that can lead to a driving while intoxicated charge.

Warner told the Houston Chronicle that her husband had been addicted to enemas since he was a child. She said he often used alcohol in that manner to get drunk.

Neither Warner's attorney nor Brazoria County District Attorney Jeri Yenne could be reached for comment.

Man, people are freaks. I mean, sherry? C'mon, if you're going to let your freak flag fly that high, you might as well use something a bit better than sherry! Granted, anything with a higher alcohol content would just kill you faster, but if you're to the point where receiving (or giving, for that matter) alcohol enemas is what you require to get off, well. . . let's just say the rest of humanity hopes you haven't bred.