Monday, August 13, 2007

Cowboy Up

It seems repression might actually be good for you. Repression is a subject, and lifestyle, that is near and dear to both mine and genie junkie's hearts. For years we've lived with the idea that neither of us wants to hear the other complain. . . although we haven't actually talked about it, since that would be sharing "emotions." It seems that at least according to a few professionals, we're on the right track:
“There’s a definite belief in our culture that talking about our problems makes you feel better,” says Rose, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Missouri, Columbia, whose research was published in the July issue of Developmental Psychology. “That’s true in moderation. ... It only becomes risky when it becomes excessive."

[. . . ]

Psychologists also warn against ranting over and over to the same audience. You don’t want to become known as the complainer of the group. That can take a toll on friendships; it’s draining to be around someone who’s always moaning about their troubles.

When faced with someone who’s intent on wallowing in their problems, give them some time to talk it out — maybe 15 minutes, suggests Annette Annechild, a marriage and family counselor in Del Ray Beach, Fla. After that, move away from complaining and on to problem solving.

Damn straight. Hell, I don't even talk about my problems (and boy, do I have some); I prefer to skip that step and move straight on to either fixing the problem or letting it slowly kill me. Why talk about your problems when you can do many other things to make yourself think you feel better, such as drink to excess, smoke, cry in the shower so you can't see the tears, grow either a tumor or an ulcer, and. . . wait, that's really about it. Either way, it turns out that my unhealthy ability to keep my feelings deep inside, where they can surprise me someday with an aneurysm, is actually healthy. Neat!

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