Government: Here to Help

Problem: Social Security is running out of money.
Solution: Declare people dead, open up their bank accounts like a sardine can, and profit!

Just wait until we have Universal Health Care; problems like this won't be problems anymore, they'll be solutions. After all, with UHC, the government will have even more agencies than they have now with which to declare you dead and your money theirs. Hey, don't complain, your money should be the government's anyway.